Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Our Beloved Trixie

*Please forgive my writing, it's not the greatest.  
I didn't spend much time proofing since reading it over and over would be to hard.   

In Memory of Trixie
February 1997 to January 5, 2012

That awful day had come.  The day that I knew was in our near future but was hoping would never come.  We had to make that awful decision  to have our Miss Trixie put down.  Any pet owner knows this is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do.  The hardest part for us was that Trixie mentally was with it....100% with it, but unfortunately her body wasn't.  Her legs were failing.  For the past several months we had rugs going across the kitchen floor for her to walk on, if a rug was out of place she would usually stand and whine for us to come help her or fix the rug.  One of her front legs was in rough shape but she managed to get around, she could still jump up on the couch and go up and down a few steps. 


 Last Tuesday my husband was home sick from work, while he was laying on the couch  he heard her fall and yelp in the kitchen.  She had decided to go off the rugs and head to our mud room where the cats eat.  She hurt herself when she fell, we thought she would be ok but on Wednesday her leg was swollen.  I had to carry her everywhere and lay her down.  She could get in a standing position but that was it.  Late that afternoon she let out a scream and I mean scream of pain.  At this point I knew I needed to call her doctor immediately.  He called in a pain killer to the pharmacy and told us to see how she's doing in the morning but this may be it for her.  He's been seeing her quite regularly lately, so he knew her condition.  That night she screamed again when she tried to get comfortable, at that point Eric and I knew we had to make that awful decision.  Her arm was shot and we didn't want her to suffer.  

Thursday morning when we got up I called the vet and made the appointment. I made the appointment for later in the day so that Eric didn't have to miss work.  I ended up having the worst headache ever along with a queasy stomach all day which caused me to throw up several times throughout the day.  I'm not sure if I was sick or was stressed from all of the crying and knowing what was coming.  The kids stayed home from school to spend one last day with her . When the time came, I pulled myself together the best I could.  I sent the kids to their grandmothers while I'll got ready to take Trixie in.  Eric was meeting me at the vet.  I took her outside and while getting the car ready with her favorite mat she tried to go back into the house (this broke my heart even more).  I loaded her up very carefully since her arm was hurting.  On the way I had to pull over and throw up again, at this point  I was praying I would make it until after everything was done before I threw up again.....I needed to be with Trixie to say goodbye.   


When I arrived at the vet my parents and Eric were waiting. My Dad built a very nice box that day to bury her in.  My step mom, Beverly stayed with Eric and I along with Trixie during the procedure.  My parents loved Trixie too.  At times like this Beverly is the person you want to be with you, she's so calming.  We laid Trixie on the table on her favorite mat.  She wagged her tail one last time before we got started. She went peacefully, no more pain.  I feel so guilty, I know it was the right thing to do but still I feel awful.   


Trixie was such a HUGE part of our family; she went every where she could with us...rides in the car, Ethan's baseball games, trips and so much more.  We had her for close to 15 years.  She was like a first child to us.   So many people knew her.  I could go on and on about her but I'll save it for a different post.  


This picture was taken a few hours before we took her in.  I think our Dexter knew something was wrong, he seemed to stay close to her.  The day before and that day he stood over her several times and barked at her.  He NEVER barks in the house, it was if he was trying to get her moving. Now that she is gone it seems that Dexter is listening for her and looking for her.  They've been together for close to 14 years;  they ate together, slept together, made their rounds together and so on.    It's been a week and I still cry everyday. I know in time it will get easier. 


One thing I know for sure is that we have been truly blessed with a very special dog and I'm very thankful for that!  

5 comments:

radiomomrhetoric said...

Ohhhh.....I am so sorry for you sweet Trixie! So hard, I know. about 1 year ago we had to make the same decision with our sweet boy. I can still get teary thinking about him.

Time....Time, and it sucks...but I still smile when I think about him. And you will with Trixie too.

((hugs))

Laura said...

Take care Bonnie - it's SO hard but know that there's no more pain where she's at! I've said it before - she and Alex are now bounding through fields together! Love you guys :-)

Theresa said...

I am so, so sorry to hear this. I know how hard this is. She was a family member. When I have been through this, I have found comfort in this:

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... never to be parted again.

Author unknown...

Kathy said...

Oh Bonnie, I am just in tears here as I read this! Just remembering how we just went through the same thing. I remember the night before we had to take our Casey in just laying in bed sobbing so, so hard. I know exactly how hard this is for you and pray that in time your grief will ease. {{{big hugs}}}
Love, Kathy

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry...I know how hard that is.